hmmmm.. Don't know exactly where to start a blog. I think I should let the people out there know a little bit about me, I'm 30 and I live in Salt Lake City, UT. Its about as bad as single and 30 in Poland. So after I broke up with the last boyfriend because he paid more attention to his job than me, I decided that I was gonna post a profile on Match.com. I needed attention to feed the ego.
I got attention, some guy even thought it a good idea to send naked pictures of himself to me. WTF? It might have worked if I was a dude, but I just wasn't about, plus I bet they were 10 yrs old, and he's fat and wrinkled now.
Anyway I posted for this hot guy, who I went out on a few dates, but hot will only get you so far. I ended up with a crush and tried to hard, aka turned him off. His pictures were 10 yrs old too, but he backcountry skis and he's smart. Reason that I bring this up is that I hate doing things that make me feel stupid, you'd think with age you'd stop, not so much. I still do the stupid things of 18, maybe just not as frequently, but then I've added the stupid things of 30 too. So he never called me back after I drunk dailed him, I don't harbor any ill feelings because I wouldn't call me back either. Truth is he wasn't even perfect, he had issues with his divorce, which I never got to find out how recent it was because I was trying to be polite. Maybe I should give that up.
Anyway today I got the brillant idea of emailing him, I'm so not the stalker type, at least I'm very controlled I think about it constantly but take not action to keep my "sanity." So brilliant idea of the day was to email and apologize for 2 reasons one I really do feel stupid about it. Two: I'm trying to surround myself with quality people. Three: There is a strong possibility, or in stats talk its highly probable that we run into eachother, after all we both ski the Bird and there are only so many runs locals go on. It was a benign message, basically said sorry, don't want feel deer in the headlights when/if I run into you. With my luck I'd be all skinned up and you can't run then.
The whole thing made me think of college. I drank a lot in college, no more than the average college drunk, but that's still a lot. I have a tendency to black out when I drink because I do it on an empty stomach and then it creeps up on me, still have that money saving tendency. I remember kissing on this frat boy one night, a frat boy who usually wouldn't have gotten the time of day from me, yeah I was that cool. I shouldn't say I remember because I really don't, what I remember is waking up the next morning at my friends Ania's house proclaiming, "I had so much fun last night!!!" At which point Ania asked which part, "Spending an hour puking in my toilet or macking all over Wes?"
I remember going to class that Monday, I hid all weekend figured if I avoided the problem it would just go away, not so much. On the walk of shame to class I remember thinking that I would feel less stupid with a brown paper bag over my head with slits for my eyes than I do having to face folks and wonder if they had been out that Friday night.
In the end it all turned out alright, just wish I'd stop doing things that make me feel stupid.
